Living with roommates as an introvert

Introverts come in many shapes and forms but at the bedrock of any introvert is one point: social interactions drain you more than extroverts. You may love or hate interacting with people, but no matter what you need alone-time in between to recharge.

So when it comes to apartment-hunting, your first thought might be a studio apartment, but these are often expensive and you might not actually want to live on your own because of safety or social reasons (yes, paradoxically, introverts get lonely too!). If you’ve decided to live in a shared space, here are some tips to make day-to-day life run smoothly.

Be upfront and honest with your roommates

The risk of living with roommates as an introvert is that they might think you’re being rude by not wanting to hang out with them all the time, so dodge this bullet by explaining to them that you’re an introvert. You can be as detailed as you like, saying that you like to hang out occasionally but need some time to yourself, or if you don’t feel comfortable going into it, just explain that you have a stressful job/ school work and you’re sorry if you don’t have time to hang out as much as they might want to. As long as you explain it politely, they'll understand.

Find you own sense of privacy

There are a few tricks to getting alone-time in a shared apartment. If you have your own room, it’s not too much of an issue. Simply part ways with your roommates with a smile (and if they ask, you can say you’ve got a Netflix show to binge). In shared rooms this may seem harder, but little things like wearing headphones (you don’t even need to be listening to music) send a polite signal that you’re not available to talk. You can even have a discussion with your roommates and ask if it’s alright not to talk in the bedroom itself. If you have a bunk bed, try draping a throw over the railings to give yourself instant privacy without seeming rude. 

Time your recharging time wisely

Timing can be important when finding your chance to recharge in a shared living space. Get to know your roommates’ schedules and work your me-time around it, whether that means getting up earlier than your roommates or staying up later, or making sure you fit your cooking time into the time slot when nobody is home. If you live in an Outpost house, remember your space is not just the apartment itself. Explore the TV room, backyard or rooftop at different times of day, as these spaces are often free on certain days like weekdays.

Be friendly when you do see your roommates

If you’re roommates aren’t going to see you very often, you might as well try to make the times they do see you pleasant. Tiny things like smiling on your way to the shower can make a big difference to maintaining roommate harmony when you might not want to hang out with them every day. You can also show friendliness through other, non-social acts. If you have time, making coffee for your roommates in the morning or baking cookies for everyone on your day off sends a welcoming signal without having to engage in social interactions (and everyone loves a little hand-written note when it’s not passive aggressive).

Find a sacred space

Finding a space outside the home can be a great way to recharge. This space can act as an oasis when you’re overwhelmed by people, allowing you uninterrupted me-time. Whether it’s a local coffee-shop, park or even a mall you like to wander around, there’s always somewhere quiet to be found in the throng of a city. Take a stroll around your neighborhood or Google "quiet spaces" in the area for inspiration.

Jump into socializing occasionally

If you can, it’s better to socialize with your roommates occasionally. For one thing, once you know people hanging out with them will drain you slightly less as you'll be more comfortable. It’s also good to get outside of your comfort zone every now and again. This might mean setting a weekly "date night" for a group dinner or a movie or, if you live at Outpost, going along to one of our regular social events. Just remember that going along to an event or even hanging out in your apartment doesn’t stop you leaving early and you’ll still be proud of yourself for giving it a go.

The benefits of coliving are universal, but selecting a roommate carefully is important. The main source of human emotions and perceptions is spending time with lovely people. As a result, everything is directly dependent on you, and the Outpost Club will take care of your housing.